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One Side: One Friend's Perspective

At times she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her social media – it feels like a jumpscare.

A close companion of a decade, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a bit, but it weighs on our relationship.

Being highly outgoing, there's a constant urge the need to record everything all the time. When we eat out, her motto is, “The camera eats first,” and takes photos with bright lighting, which induces embarrassment. I don’t like it when other people see her performing for the camera – I experience secondhand embarrassment. It also frustrates me because the food gets cold.

She's not quite an online personality yet, but Marielle is trying to be. She makes video blogs about living in our city, a day in her life, and her work as a stylist. The material is quality, credit where it's due, but I prefer not to be dragged into it. On occasion I'm captured while I’m eating, or just accompanying her. I’ll see myself on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be bare-faced, an awkward face or photographed mid-bite. It’s uncomfortable.

She also expects me to film her at inconvenient times. Often I'm in conversation to someone else, or we’ll just be hanging out in the street. I feel like our bond has turned into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to employ someone if she wanted professional shots. Upon mentioning my unease about this arrangement, she brushed it off. I've been invited to a couple of brand events, which were appreciated, but that doesn't compensate for all the energy I invest assisting her create material.

I’m grateful that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our friendship to become merely a tally of favours. I don’t feel she’s fake or dishonest, but at times I feel that if recording starts, we will begin acting in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

She will say, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with someone. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our decade-long friendship still has limits. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to experience it without being recorded, edited, or posted for an viewers. I am not a accessory for her online persona.

The Other Side: Marielle

I want my friend to see that the creations we make together can get us a foot in the door.

I am passionate about shooting content. It’s not just a hobby; it's integral to who I am. Creating videos and sharing my life online allows me to express myself and connect with people in new ways.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your passions. I look up to people on social platforms who execute that aesthetic of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my version of living actively: observing the details, posting them with an audience that appreciates the craft behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Taking her to professional gatherings was my method of offering access, providing her a chance to experience exclusive moments that could benefit her professional path too. That’s not leverage, it’s just being realistic.

I would take her to such functions even if she refused to assist me, but I desire her to see the benefits the content we make together can get us: an opening. I know not everyone enjoys being on camera, but sometimes unplanned moments is what makes content genuine. Being recorded occasionally is part and parcel of being my friend. I would delete anything she asked, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my personal filmmaker, but friends support one another in small ways. My assumption was filming a short video now and then would be fun for her. Innovation thrives in partnership, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never deliberately embarrass her. But filming together occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I cherish our friendship profoundly and want to avoid content creation to come between us. I’m willing to compromise: like requesting permission before recording, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding sharing my world while still respecting hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for real connection: it’s just part of how I experience life and I want her to be included in a way that’s agreeable for both of us.

The Jury: Public Sentiment

Should Marielle stop recording herself and her friend when they are socializing?

There’s nothing more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it’s Marielle’s passion, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. Given the dark, looming future of technology, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something as a career, you can’t ask your friends for assistance every time, even if they have done it before. While she enjoys creating, that doesn’t mean all those around her is content. She needs to honor her friend's personal space.
Another reader, 26

She may enjoy making content and displaying her life online, but it isn't for everyone. It’s nice she has helped her friend professionally, but she needs to hear what Beth wants.
A commenter, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and make sure it’s the focus in your friendship. Foster some real memories, where true emotions are preserved, not online archives. Even public figures who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

Marielle appears to be neither present nor genuine when she’s with Beth – she’s working. Both seem confused as to what’s reasonable. The solution lies not in trying to change one another, but in each setting defined boundaries around what feels acceptable to them and determining if there is an acceptable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Now You Be the Judge

In an online poll: has she been over-exposing their bond?